idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize