my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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