i was rollin on her like bob the builder
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
