Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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