me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
