just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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