What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
