so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize