never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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