My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize