"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
