My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
