Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
