summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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