shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
