There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
