the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Barsexuality is the new black.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
