You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
