Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize