no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
