Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
