im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
