my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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