There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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