I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
