is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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