So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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