so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
