i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
