sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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