I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
