I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
