I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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