I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
