just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I had to cum in my sink.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
