hotel room ftw
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
