We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
