i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
