He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
