I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
