i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
