Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
