I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize