I bet he comes in French.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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