This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
