Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
