she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
