I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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