this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
