I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
