He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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