Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
