can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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