ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
