just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
