Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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