Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
