Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
