im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize