Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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