Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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