the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
