I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
