Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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