things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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