K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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