he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
