My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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