We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
