My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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